


Lost Stars

by sogogibaby



Series: fics based on various rihanna songs [2]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Break Up/Make Up, M/M, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-08
Updated: 2017-11-08
Packaged: 2019-01-31 02:06:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12666075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sogogibaby/pseuds/sogogibaby
Summary: Chanyeol's an idiot for breaking up with Baekhyun and everybody knows it.





	1. I know I could be more creative

**Author's Note:**

> AAAAAAAANNNDDD WE'RE BACK with the second installment of this series which i am SUPER excited for--i loved writing Chanyeol and Baekhyun in this one and this AU was so versatile and fun to write!!! ALTHOUGH: for one of the parts to work out I had to write some (pretty shitty) smut so i'm sorry. But it had to be done. For Art. Also I wish I had incorporated a little more of their rockstar lifestyle into the fic but I really just wanted to get the plot across, and these are supposed to be drabble length anyways so I didn't want to make it too long. 
> 
> anyways this is a little more abstract than the previous fic (i wanted to try something new even though this is also cliche is fuck :-)) and there is a lot of timeline tennis and POV tennis but i hope it's not too confusing. 
> 
> WELL that's that isn't it. enjoy?

_I just really need your ass with me_  
_I'm sorry 'bout the other night_  
_And I know I could be more creative_  
_And come up with poetic lines_  
_But I'm turnt up off sizz' and "I love you"_  
_Is the only thing that's in my mind_  


_You know what? Yeah, let’s break up._

_Yes, let’s break up._

_Let’s break up._

_Break up._

_\--_

**Denial.**

It had been four days since Baekhyun stormed out of Chanyeol’s apartment; _four days_ since their first official break up after _four years of being together._

Baekhyun never thought that they would ever have a ‘first break up’, hell, he never thought they’d break up at all--boy was he wrong.

_Is this what their love really amounted to in the end?_

It couldn’t be over. It couldn’t. This was just a phase, he was sure of it. Chanyeol was a wild soul, he knew that when he signed up to be his boyfriend.

Suddenly, pulling him from drowning in his thoughts was a knock at the door.

“Baekhyun, you really need to get out of your room today. You have to shower... and eat.” Baekhyun could contest that this was probably the first time he’d _ever_ heard his best friend, Jongdae, speak softly. He must have been really worried this time.

“Go away.” Baekhyun called through the locked door of Jongdae’s guestroom. His voice was deep and gritty due to the continuous crying and screaming he had been engaging in that last few days, so it sounded more like _guuuurarayyyyy._

“I don’t know what that means but I’m guessing it’s ‘I haven’t had water in four days and I’m about to die so just break down the door’ So I’m about to do just that.” Jongdae took his spare key and unlocked the door to the guest room. “Oh god--”

Baekhyun finally lifted his head from the bed at the retching sounds Jongdae was making the hallway. Now _this_ was the Jongdae he knew. “It’s not that bad don’t be dramatic” Baekhyun rasped out, sounding more like a zombie with every word.

“God that’s disgusting, Baek, it smells terrible in here…god…just don’t speak, your voice is stinking up the room… god how many days has it been since you brushed your teeth!?” Jongdae exclaimed while clutching his nose.

“You could open the door this whole time and you never bothered to get me a glass of water, Dae?” Baekhyun continued despite his friend’s complaints.

“There’s a bathroom in here with filtered water and glasses! You knew that and were too lazy to get up! And don’t give me that, I heard you at 2AM opening the door for the McDonalds delivery guy.” Jongdae narrowed his eyes. Baekhyun couldn’t really take Jongdae’s complaining seriously since he was still clutching his nose and it was making his voice all nasal-y. “Just because you ate it at 2AM doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.” Jongdae approached Baekhyun with a glass of water, and Baekhyun accepted it happily.

“Shut up, Jongdae…” Baekhyun drawled in a whiney tone in between sips. He turned onto his back and looked at his chubby thighs, pouting. “I can’t get too fat, or Chanyeol won’t take me back. You should have stopped me!”

At these words, Jongdae stopped picking up trash from the floor. “Baekhyun…”

“What?” Baekhyun glared at Jongdae, getting some of his spunk back.

“You’re going back to him? That bastard? He treats you like trash--he’s always high, he ignores you, and he never thinks about your feelings!” Jongdae ranted as he turned fully towards Baekhyun. “I was so happy that you finally left… now you’re going back?” Jongdae’s voice trailed off, and Baekhyun’s eyes widened.

Jongdae and Baekhyun had been friends since middle school, and gotten into the rock scene at a young age. They were both a pair of old souls listening to _Led Zeppelin_ and _Moody Blues_ while other kids were into Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber. They used to follow Baekhyun’s older brother around at his rock gigs and eventually the two made a pact to audition into indie rock bands together. They were like each other’s platonic soulmates, and were the closest pair in the band.

However, this is the first time Baekhyun had seen Jongdae on the brink of crying like this. Feelings of guilt flooded Baekhyun’s chest, although he wasn’t one hundred percent sure what the problem was. Baekhyun immediately rose from the bed and wrapped his arms around his best friend.

“Dae, please don’t cry. Not because of something as stupid as my love life…” Baekhyun held onto Jongdae and rubbed his back soothingly.

“No…” Jongdae sniffed. “I’m just crying because it smells so bad in here…” Baekhyun chuckled softly and Jongdae joined him, although it sounded more like a choked sob.

Baekhyun leaned back from the hug and looked into Jongdae’s eyes with a deploring expression. “What the hell, Dae…”

“I don’t know why I’m crying either okay! Just… Baek, think about it okay...before you go back to him. You always hurt each other and I’m tired of seeing you crying.” Jongdae said as he looked away from Baekhyun’s searching eyes.

Baekhyun sighed, but he nodded.

\--

“Where’s Baek- _hyung_ been?” Sehun plopped down on the leather couch that sat in the middle of Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s apartment.

“Why do you ask?” Chanyeol looked up from the chords he was playing on his favorite acoustic on the opposite couch.

Sehun sneered when he saw the dirty underwear lying on the floor next to the coffee table. “If he was here this place wouldn’t be such a fucking dump. Damn, I didn’t realize you were as bad as Junmyeon, Chanyeol… _hyung._ ”

“Saying _‘hyung’_ after an insult doesn’t make it better, Hun.” Chanyeol rolled his eyes, avoiding the question. Sehun cocked his eyebrow.

“So? Where is he?” he pressed on. As the youngest member of the band, he was always one to meddle in the elder’s problems and try to get into the older crowd. Sehun hated feeling left out of his _hyung’s_ businesses.

Chanyeol looked to the floor and then back at Sehun. “We... broke up.” Chanyeol whispered in a low tone, as if saying it any louder would make it real.

“You’re... joking right?” Sehun guffawed and leaned forward. Chanyeol just glared back.

“You’re not? _What the fuck?_ ” Sehun practically yelled as he got up from the couch abruptly. “I know you guys are like all over the place and fight a lot but there’s never been a real ‘break up’. What the hell happened?” Sehun combed his hands through his hair, thinking about what this might mean for the band. Chanyeol and Baekhyun were complete opposites and they fought a lot--for sure, but they had never put the band at risk like this by breaking up... this could fuck their band over for real, this time.

“Don’t worry about it... I’m sure he’ll be back soon. He’s never gone for long…” Chanyeol hummed and went back to strumming on his acoustic, as if none of the stuff he just said mattered. Baekhyun actually _left him_ , and Chanyeol was acting like this was just a regular fight.

Sehun got up from the couch and paced around the room, running his hands through his hair again and again. “Did you really say the words _‘I’m breaking up with you’_ ?” Sehun asked incredulously, not believing that his _hyungs_ could ever actually break up. They were a hurricane of right and wrong in the world but they _loved_ each other. “Or shit, did _he_ say it?”

Chanyeol thought back to that night; that night that should have been like any other night. Chanyeol wasn’t thinking that night.

_“What? You gonna break up with me now?”_

_“Why should I have to stay with you if you don’t even love me? You know what? Yeah, let’s break up.”_

“He said it.” Chanyeol replied curtly. Sehun looked up, shocked.

“You’re fucking with me… Baekhyun loves your flat ass. He _couldn’t_ have.” Sehun sat back down on the couch, realizing the gravity of the situation. Chanyeol was a heartless, petty bastard, he threw the _‘let’s just break up then’_ card all the time with Baekhyun. Sehun knew that, but Baekhyun would always fight for them. Baekhyun loved Chanyeol to bits, Chanyeol was Baekhyun’s muse and savior, so to hear that _Baekhyun_ had been the one to say that they should breakup this time, might just mean that they were really done.

“Chanyeol…. you must’ve fucked up big time, this time.” Chanyeol knew that. Chanyeol had fucked up many times before, often ending up with Baekhyun staying at Jongdae’s house for a few days before coming back, but the words ‘break up’ had never come out of Baekhyun’s mouth before. Chanyeol thought that Baekhyun and him had some understanding that no matter what happened, they would always choose each other in the end. Over everything. So eventually, Baekhyun would just come back, no questions asked.

Chanyeol was treating this just as another fight, _they couldn’t have actually broken up for real, right?_ Baekhyun loved him, and Chanyeol sure as hell loved Baekhyun. This couldn’t be the end.

“I know, Hun. I know.”

When Sehun finally left, for the first time since Baekhyun left four days ago, Chanyeol let his uncertainty seep into his voice. “...Fuck.”

\--

**Anger.**

“So what are you going to do for the gig tonight? Are you going? I can get Kyungsoo to cancel if you really need to?” Jongdae said as casually as he could while Baekhyun and him were having dinner.

“No...no I’ll go. If this is a permanent change, I’ll have to face uh…” Baekhyun was trying to say _his_ name, but he just physically couldn’t. “Uh…” Baekhyun’s eyes started to tear up and his voice choked up.

Jongdae got up from his chair and walked around the dining table. “Baekhyun, it’s okay if you’re not ready yet.”

“No. No, I can do this, Dae… I have to… see him.” Baekhyun rasped out. “God, when people say love leaves you breathless they really weren’t kidding…” Baekhyun coughed awkwardly.

Jongdae just smiled sadly in response.

\--

Chanyeol was waiting anxiously in the backstage area of their concert venue for Baekhyun’s arrival. He wasn’t sure if Baekhyun was even going to come--but Chanyeol needed to see him. It had been a week since Baekhyun had left their apartment that Friday night. Baekhyun was usually only gone two or three days when they fought, and since they lived together, this was probably the longest time Chanyeol had been away from his boyfriend.

He kept on eyeing the time, knowing there was only half an hour or so until their set. When Chanyeol spotted Kyungsoo, their manager, he grabbed onto his shoulder.

“Hyung, did Jongdae say anything about whether Baekhyun was coming tonight?” Chanyeol asked shakily.

“I didn’t hear anything from him, no. Why wouldn’t Baekhyun come, though? We’d have to make an official statement of his absence, it would be a total mess. You guys aren't a small time band anymore, Chanyeol. You can't just casually miss gigs like this.” Kyungsoo replied before turning frantically to search the crowd of coordis and electricians for the two vocalists. “ah, there they are. Thank God.”

Chanyeol turned quickly towards the door, where Baekhyun and Jongdae were entering. Baekhyun looked flawless as usual, the complete opposite of Chanyeol’s haggard state. Chanyeol couldn’t help but feel bitter. It was as if while Chanyeol was going crazy with worry over the smaller, Baekhyun was completely unaffected.

Chanyeol made his way through the countless other people before grabbing onto Baekhyun’s shoulder and forcefully turning him around.

Baekhyun looked even more beautiful up close. His fiery red hair--which Chanyeol had dyed himself--was left unstyled but he looked flawless. He was wearing an oversized red flannel and tight, black jeans. Chanyeol’s heart dropped. _What was really going on? Why was Baekhyun so unaffected?_

With these questions in mind, Chanyeol began his interrogation. Unfortunately, he didn’t get very far.

“Where the hell have you--” _SLAP._

Chanyeol staggered back at the sudden force on his cheek and bumped into a few people behind him. Baekhyun had never, ever hit him before.

“What do you think you’re doing? Don't touch me or use that tone with me, Chanyeol. We're over. Or were you too high that night to hear that part either?” Baekhyun sneered angrily.

The workers around Chanyeol were whispering about the slap in harsh tones, and Kyungsoo was shouting, ushering them out of the area, trying to get back in control of the situation. If it got out that the two were in a physical fight, there would be a media frenzy. Baekhyun couldn’t have cared less.

When Baekhyun saw Chanyeol approaching them, he was a lot more angry than he thought he would be. Earlier, locked in Jongdae’s guestroom, all he did was romanticize his and Chanyeol’s relationship.

Seeing Chanyeol here, looking as handsome as ever, donning his perfect hair and dare Baekhyun say it-- _eyeliner!--_ As if Baekhyun leaving had no effect on him at all, just brought out all the feelings he should have had in the first place. Pure. Anger.

Baekhyun fought for them every single time, and Chanyeol never gave a damn. Mutual understanding? Yeah fucking right, Baekhyun was sure that Chanyeol would have saved a gram of speed from sinking to the bottom of the ocean before saving Baekhyun from drowning.

Jongdae huffed angrily and started to pull Baekhyun away from Chanyeol.

“C’mon Baek, let’s just go get our in-ears.” Baekhyun gave Jongdae a small nod before turning away from Chanyeol who still stood there, frozen.

They were done? How could this have happened? Chanyeol shrunk into himself, all of his self-confidence melting away. He ran his hands through his hair, and huffed out a shaky breath. _This was not happening._

Before Chanyeol could even begin to get his bearings in order, Kyungsoo grabbed onto his arm. “Why haven’t you headed to the risers yet? The set’s starting now!” Kyungsoo, not realizing Chanyeol’s zoned out state, started dragging him to the area under the stage. The way there was a blur, and before Chanyeol knew it, he was sitting behind his drum kit, and hundreds of girls were screaming for them in the crowd.

When Chanyeol heard the riff of the bass, he knew he had already missed his cue. He was supposed to start off their first song, _Uprising,_ but Sehun seemed to have taken the artistic liberty of starting off the song himself, noticing Chanyeol’s dazed state.

Chanyeol started to come back to reality when he noticed the worried faces of his fangirls--they knew all the songs by heart and had automatically realized their favorite drummer’s odd behavior. The glittery signs went down, and excited smiles were painted over with worry. Yixing, their guitarist, gave a hard glare at Chanyeol during one of the stronger chords, and the drummer was finally set into action.

Most of the drumming was muscle memory at this point, as Chanyeol drummed along to Baekhyun and Jongdae’s crooning. Although all the notes were coming out right, the usual power and charisma that Chanyeol possessed was absent. It was ruining the vibe of the song, since it was supposed to be high energy and powerful.

Baekhyun glanced back at the dazed Chanyeol once the first song in the set ended. Baekhyun was more annoyed than anything, he tried to convince himself, as he stuffed his worry at the back of his mind. _Chanyeol deserved this. He deserved to feel the consequences of his actions._

The next song began, with Chanyeol actually fulfilling his role of kicking off the song this time. The song came off as frustratingly bland as the previous with Chanyeol’s lackluster playing, and Baekhyun could see some of the fangirls in the front being less hyped than they usually were, even with the rest of the band giving their one hundred percent.

Baekhyun frustratedly grabbed the mic off the stand and stomped his way back to the drum kit during one of the harmonies right before the main chorus. He rested his foot on the side of one of the lower drums, and sang the song right to Chanyeol.

At the challenge in Baekhyun’s eyes, Chanyeol flipped his drum stick and put more strength into each stroke of his wrists. Fangirls were screaming and whooping at their intense interaction, but those sounds were nothing but background noise to the two. Baekhyun put all of his strength into his final high note, and Chanyeol was almost banging on the drum set at this point, reinvigorated.

The crowd was screaming for the two, shouting their couple name; and as the song came to an end, there was a deafening applause from the the whole venue.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun stared into each others eyes heatedly for a moment, before Baekhyun took his leg off the drum and strutted back to the front of the stage to bow, breaking the moment.

\--

Later in the night, Baekhyun was pressed against the wall of the alley behind _Teddy’s,_ the bar where they had their usual afterparty, with Chanyeol’s hand down his pants.

Baekhyun had no idea how they had gotten into this situation, (maybe he did, just a teensy bit) but he was going along with it anyways.

“You’re such a fucking dick, you never think about anyone but yourself.” Baekhyun gritted out, as Chanyeol’s hand began to slow.

Chanyeol just smirked and sunk to his knees. “Says you, you never stick around to have a proper conversation about anything.” Chanyeol muttered before taking Baekhyun’s tip into his mouth. Baekhyun’s head tipped back onto the brick wall and he cursed as Chanyeol’s lips sunk deeper on to his cock.

“Don’t act all cocky right now, Chany-yeol. Fuck!”

Chanyeol looked up cheekily and lifted one eyebrow.

“Oh, fuck you.” Baekhyun rolled his eyes and thrusted his hips into Chanyeol’s mouth.

Chanyeol finally closed his eyes as they began to tear up when Baekhyun’s cock hit the back of his throat repeatedly.

“C-can’t take this?” Baekhyun thrusted harshly between his words. “Imagine how I had to take your f-fucking monster cock every fucking d-day, you bastard.” Baekhyun started to thrust faster, his moans disappearing into the night, muffled by the sounds of the club music blaring behind them. After a few more thrusts he finally growled as he came in Chanyeol’s mouth, forcing him to swallow.

Chanyeol pulled off of Baekhyun’s cock abruptly, wiping his mouth with his forearm and gulping down the rest of the cum. “No warning?” He joked.

“You deserved that, asshole.” Baekhyun panted out.

Chanyeol stood back up and forcefully spun Baekhyun around, so his front was against the wall. Chanyeol bit down on the junction of Baekhyun’s neck and shoulder in retaliation.

“Oh, you’re about to get it now, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol smacked Baekhyun’s plump asscheek once before reaching into Baekhyun’s pocket and taking out his wallet. Chanyeol picked out a packet of lube and a condom and smirked.

“Old habits die hard I see. Or were you planning on getting laid tonight?” Anger seeped into Chanyeol’s voice.

“Oh, so you can sleep around but I can’t?” Baekhyun retorted.

Chanyeol angrily unfastened Baekhyun’s pants and slid them down his back so just his lower back was exposed to Chanyeol.

“Sleep around? With who?” Chanyeol gritted out.

“Just shut up and fucking get on with it!” Baekhyun snapped.

Chanyeol poured some of the lubrication on his fingers and slipped his fingers in slowly. Baekhyun used to love Chanyeol’s thick fingers because they were as thick as five cocks on their own, but with little lubrication as they had now, it burned.

“Fuck…!” Baekhyun pressed his nails into the wall in front of him. Chanyeol paused, allowing Baekhyun to adjust to the intrusion. As Baekhyun’s pants turned into whines, Chanyeol inserted two, then three fingers in him.

“Enough foreplay. Just get on with it.” Baekhyun rasped.

Chanyeol smirked and pulled his fingers out and undid his own belt, finally freeing his bulge from his jeans. He opened the condom and slid it on before retrieving the leaking packet of lube from his jacket pocket and pouring the rest of the lube onto his leaking cock. He pumped himself a few times before finally lining up with Baekhyun’s hole.

He thrusted in slowly, giving in to the tight heat that was Baekhyun. Baekhyun moaned loudly, satisfied with being filled by his ex boyfriend inch by inch. Chanyeol’s cock must have been eight? Nine inches? None of Baekhyun’s exes (before Chanyeol) could ever match up to the feeling that Chanyeol gave him when they fucked. The feeling of being filled to the brim.

Being together for four years already, Chanyeol knew Baekhyun’s body like the back of his hand. He thrusted right into that spot that always drove his little boyfriend crazy. Chanyeol paused for good measure and lifted one of his hands from where it was resting on Baekhyun’s hips to massage Baekhyun’s lower back. Baekhyun grunted before finally giving Chanyeol the okay to move.

Chanyeol pistoned in and out of the tight heat, moaning and growling into the night “Take my pipe, yeah, just like that baby.” His Baekhyun was always a good fuck.

Baekhyun met Chanyeol with every thrust as Chanyeol hit his prostate dead on. They fucked quick and dirty, Baekhyun coming onto the wall and Chanyeol into the condom. As soon as they were done, Chanyeol pulled out and Baekhyun fell to his knees, boneless. Chanyeol fastened his jeans and pulled Baekhyun up by his hips before fastening Baekhyun’s pants for him. He picked Baekhyun up bridal style, and just stared at him for a moment.

He was so stupid. How could he ever have let their relationship get to this point? Baekhyun _hated_ him now.

Chanyeol sighed, tearing his eyes from Baekhyun’s peaceful face. He exited the alley with Baekhyun in his arms, and hailed a cab.


	2. and come up with poetic lines

**Bargaining.**

When Baekhyun woke up, he was totally disoriented. He rubbed his eyes and looked to his right, where Chanyeol was sleeping. He smiled and rolled on to his side to stare at his boyfriend. He picked the hairs out of Chanyeol’s face so he could get a good look. When he saw the smudged eyeliner that was still clinging to Chanyeol’s eyelashes, he was thrown back into reality.

He and Chanyeol had broken up. They had breakup sex last night, and Baekhyun had probably passed out after. Everything had felt familiar because he was in their old apartment, but dread and uncertainty filled his chest at the thought they they were over. And _he_ was the one that ended it.

Baekhyun sat up on the bed, quietly groaning over the pain in his ass. He never quite got used to that the morning after. After looking at the room more closely, he could see that all his stuff was still there. Baekhyun hadn’t come by yet to pick up his things, but he didn’t expect for all his stuff to still be exactly how he left it. It was like they had never even broken up in the first place. He leaned his head back on the headboard and sighed, just wanting to take a moment for himself. _When did they become like this?_

He looked at his bedside table, where he had placed picture of them in their first studio. Baekhyun was sitting at the mixing table and Chanyeol next to him, and they both had big smiles on their faces as they looked at each other. The picture was taken from a back angle, probably Sehun and his terrible photography skills, but Baekhyun liked the picture nonetheless. The candidness really showed how happy they were, almost four years ago.

Baekhyun remembers it clearly, how small their studio was at that time.

The five of them were just starting out as a band and had taken on extra hours at their part time jobs, borrowed money from their parents, and even searched their couches for loose change to pay the 1,500,000 won it took to rent out a studio for the week. They practically lived at the studio that week.

The band had been together for a year now and were finally recording their first EP. Chanyeol, being a recording and production major, was especially in his element. He bounced from button to button, ratting their names off and what they did to all the members. No one understood a thing he was saying, but Baekhyun was impressed nonetheless.

“I’m impressed you remember anything you learn in school… My brain is practically useless now. All the information I learned for finals has left my head already, and it’s only been a week.” Baekhyun joked. Baekhyun and Jongdae had always been bubbly; they were the mood makers of the group. They never quite did fit in the rock scene as much as Chanyeol, Sehun, and Yixing did, though.

On the other hand, Chanyeol had always been a cool and aloof presence in the band. Only focused on music. Baekhyun was sure if he could, Chanyeol would probably marry his drum kit. 

Chanyeol just hummed in reply.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s interactions had always been like this. Baekhyun knew that the taller didn’t really take him seriously, but he always tried to make an effort to get closer to Chanyeol.

Baekhyun also knew he wasn’t as “punk rock” as Chanyeol, and he was only casted into the band because of his voice. He had loved rock since he was a child, and the fact that his bandmates saw him as less of a musician because of the way he looked hurt sometimes. He couldn't help that he was short, a little stubby, and his brother was extremely against him ever getting a tattoo or dying his hair.

Chanyeol was the complete opposite of Baekhyun. His arms were covered in tattoos, his hair was dyed silver, and he had piercings all along his right ear.

Baekhyun had always been intrigued by the taller--Jongdae called it a bad boy complex, but that wasn’t all that was intriguing about the taller. Chanyeol was an incredible musician. Proficient in six instruments, a singer, a rapper, a composer, and now a producer, too. Chanyeol also wasn’t afraid to major in something he really was really passionate about. Baekhyun had always wanted to major in vocal performance, but his parents had always steered him away from indulging in his artistic side. He fought tooth and nail with his parents to let him at least go into literature.

It was safe to say, Park Chanyeol had just destroyed Baekhyun’s “my ideal man” list.

If he’d just give Baekhyun a chance.

\--

It was two am, and the rest of the band members were catching up on some shut eye on the couch in the studio. Chanyeol was still up, mixing and rewriting parts of their title track, White Noise. Baekhyun approached him, thinking that this was his chance.

Baekhyun took a seat next to him. “Hey, Chanyeol. Could you explain to me what _‘balance control’_ is?” Baekhyun had looked up recording terms on google earlier, hoping to spark a conversation with Chanyeol.

Chanyeol’s eyes practically lit up. “Sure! This right here is the control on a stereo amplifier, and when moved....” Baekhyun tuned out the entire explanation, just looking at Chanyeol’s rare smile as he explained the terms to him.

“Baekhyun? Baekhyun? Are you listening?” Baekhyun was snapped out of his trance when Chanyeol waved his hand in front of Baekhyun’s face.

“Oh--Uh--” Baekhyun flustered, but Chanyeol just chuckled.

“It’s okay. It’s two am, everyone is zoned out.” Chanyeol smiled and held his coffee out to the shorter. “You want a sip?” Baekhyun blushed.

“Sure… You know, it’s really refreshing to see you smiling for once.” Baekhyun quipped after taking a sip of the coffee. Chanyeol cocked his eyebrow and laughed.

“What are you talking about? I always smile! My friend group even calls me their ‘Happy Virus’!” Chanyeol said with mirth filling his voice. 

Baekhyun’s eyebrows raised practically to the ceiling. “I’d hate to see how drab you lot are, if that’s the case.” At this, Chanyeol caught Baekhyun off guard by bending over and slapping at Baekhyun’s thigh in laughter. His eyes closed in a ‘><’ face and he showed off his pearly white teeth. Baekhyun smiled warmly.

“With the amount you invested in keeping those teeth that white, I’d like to see them more often, Chanyeol. Smile more.” Baekhyun stated as soon as Chanyeol stopped laughing.

Chanyeol looked into Baekhyun’s eyes with an emotion Baekhyun couldn’t quite place. “Maybe I will.”

\--

Baekhyun got up from his ex-boyfriend’s bed and picked up his clothes, preparing to leave. He entered the hallway from their room, but he wasn’t prepared for the onslaught of emotions that would come with seeing all the photos that he himself had hung up on the walls of the corridor.

They were everywhere, polaroids and laminated photos of the two of them at different parts of their relationship. They looked so young in these photos. When Baekhyun got home from work, he usually passed all of the photos without a glance, being so used to seeing them on a daily basis. It had been so long since he had really looked at them.

He turned towards a polaroid of them, where Baekhyun was sleeping, head in Chanyeol’s lap. Chanyeol’s index finger was is on his own lips in a shushing gesture at the camera.

The night the photo was taken was not long after their first EP was released. Their band of five, EXO, had already been signed to a label. Training was brutal. Baekhyun used to think that his vocals were the shit.

He was very, very wrong.

Baekhyun had never taken vocal lessons in his life, but he was born with the innate talent to sing. However, it turns out he had a lot of pitch problems so he had to stay with a vocal coach almost ten hours a day. When he got back from practice, he would usually just pass out in the dorm room.

One night, Chanyeol snuck into Jongdae and Baekhyun’s room.

“Hey you’re finally back!” Chanyeol looked abnormally happy, and Baekhyun looked up from where he was lying on his bed like a starfish.

“What do you want?” Chanyeol frowned. Baekhyun was usually so full of life, and the training just sapped it all out of him. Chanyeol noticed. Ever since they had recorded their album, they had gotten a lot closer, and Chanyeol started noticing everything about Baekhyun.

Baekhyun was an overwhelming presence in his life now. So overwhelming, that when he didn’t get enough of Baekhyun, he felt the withdrawal. Baekhyun was sunshine and laughter and literature. Chanyeol was eyeliner and brooding and hard rock. They were complete opposites, but Chanyeol just couldn’t get enough.

“Let’s get out of here.” He stated seriously. Baekhyun just snorted.

“That’s funny. There’s no way we’re getting out when there are cameras literally everywhere. Plus, curfew.” Baekhyun rolled onto his side, ready to go to sleep.

“‘Ohhhh ‘curfew’.” Chanyeol mocked in a high pitched voice. Baekhyun turned back to Chanyeol and gave him a sleepy glare.

_Fuck. He’s so cute._

“Baekhyun… I don’t know who you think I am… But I’ve been sneaking out to rock concerts since I was twelve. I’m an expert. And we, are getting out.” Chanyeol smirked and ran to the bed to jump on top of Baekhyun.

There was a lot of screaming and tickling until Baekhyun finally gave in.

\-- 

“God, that was so fun.” Baekhyun exclaimed as they finally sat down on a bench in the park. There was a guerilla concert going on in Gwachon park, so the two of them had chosen the perfect night to sneak out. It was nice to finally be on the other side of the performance, just enjoying music as it should be enjoyed, rather being enslaved by hours and hours of practice.

Chanyeol enjoyed seeing Baekhyun be so invigorated after so much time. “Yeah, I know.” Baekhyun just gave him a sneaky glance and elbowed him.

“Thank you... for tonight, Yeol. There’s been a lot of just… stuff lately,” Baekhyun gestured vaguely, “and I feel like I just...lost my passion for music, you know?” he laughed self-deprecatingly. “Seeing those performers today was refreshing. And being with you… after so long...was fun.” He smiled shyly.

Chanyeol just smiled back at him and ruffled his hair. No words needed to be spoken.

Baekhyun had found that Chanyeol was a lot more playful than he had come off before, truly holding true to his ‘happy virus’ title. They would go out a lot before they got signed, Chanyeol dragging Baekhyun to rock clubs and underground concerts, claiming that rock was definitely superior to pop. Not that Baekhyun disagreed.

After some time of just staring out into the distance thinking about how they had come so far since then, Baekhyun yawned.

“God, I’m not sure how I lasted this long. Eight hours of practice today then a two hour standing concert?” Baekhyun commented. Suddenly Baekhyun’s head was pulled down until it was resting in Chanyeol’s lap. 

“You wanna nap for a bit?” Chanyeol said as he ran his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair.

Baekhyun blushed and smiled shyly in Chanyeol’s lap. “It’s cold though, we should get back...”

“Uh… thing is, I don’t know exactly how we’re going to...do that. I had the ‘sneaking out’ part down, but the ‘sneaking back in’...is a work in progress.” Chanyeol said bashfully. 

“Chanyeol!” Baekhyun sat up abruptly from Chanyeol’s lap, almost hitting Chanyeol’s chin in the process.

“I’m sorry! I’ll figure it out, I swear. Just lie down.” Chanyeol pushed Baekhyun back down into his lap.

Baekhyun’s heart was beating a mile a minute. There’s no way he could sleep in Chanyeol’s lap! _He smelled so good though… maybe just a minute…_

 

When Baekhyun woke up, they were in a taxi. He didn’t bother to let Chanyeol know that he was awake, though, as he just snuggled back into his chest.

_\--_

Snapping out of a daze, Baekhyun stared at the polaroid blankly for a few minutes. _Chanyeol was so sweet back then…_

Baekhyun picked the polaroid off the wall and examined every detail. They were so young, back then. It was back before Chanyeol developed this huge ego and closed himself back down. 

Chanyeol had been so distant recently. Even though it seemed like the breakup was sudden, Baekhyun knew deep down that it had been building up for a while now.

Baekhyun had been trying for a while to open him back up, to save the relationship, but Chanyeol was so far gone. In the fame, in the drugs, in the new, shiny men and women that were offering themselves to them… Baekhyun couldn’t get him back. But Baekhyun couldn’t really put all the blame on Chanyeol, could he? He had changed, too.

Baekhyun wiped his tears with his fingers and stuffed the polaroid in his pocket. _Maybe it was time to let go._

\--

**Depression.**

“Babe, you have to move your feet.” Chanyeol hummed and lifted his feet off the ground and onto the table. Baekhyun crossed in front of him with the vacuum cleaner. He was wearing the little Rilakkuma apron Chanyeol had gotten for him (Chanyeol secretly had a fettish).  
  
“Baek, I’m trying to think of an analogy for time standing still… to represent how agencies have been holding us back, and all that for the intro.” Baekhyun stopped the vacuum cleaner and turned towards him.  
  
“Hm… what about neverland? Time is stuck and we are never allowed to grow up?” Baekhyun commented. Chanyeol’s jaw dropped.

  
“How’d you--? I’ve been thinking all day and coming up with jacksquat!” Chanyeol exclaimed, miffed that it took Baekhyun all of two seconds to come up with something brilliant.  
  
Baekhyun smiled cheekily. “What are you ever going to do without me, Yeol. I do the chores _and_ have to write the lyrics for you.” Chanyeol looked scandalized for a moment before pulling Baekhyun in by the waist.  
  
He growled out, “you’re gonna get it now--” before laying kisses and play bites all over Baekhyun’s face. The house didn’t get cleaned nor the song finished, that day.

 

\--

 

It had been a year since then. Two weeks since the break up. A week since they slept together, and three days since Jongdae had come by to pick up Baekhyun’s stuff. Chanyeol was impossibly lost. How were they going to continue the band? The band depended on them staying together forever--an awkward break up could destroy everything they’ve worked so hard for.

But more than that, what was Chanyeol going to do without Baekhyun?

Ever since they had gotten together, one could not be seen without the other. More than a lover, Baekhyun had grown to be Chanyeol’s best friend. Chanyeol didn’t stick to people easily, and now that Baekhyun’s absence was becoming permanent...it scared him.

Chanyeol sighed, looking around the apartment. Baekhyun took care of everything; cleaning, cooking, laundry... _everything_. Chanyeol was sure if Baekhyun wasn’t around, he would have died of starvation by now, forgetting to eat. It had been two weeks already and Chanyeol had forgotten to have lunch five out of the fourteen days Baekhyun was absent.  

Chanyeol released a shaky breath. He needed to get out of the house.

\--

“ _Hyung_ , what am I going to do? I think we’re over, for real now.” Chanyeol’s first instinct was to go Yixing’s. Yixing had been Chanyeol’s _sunbae_ since high school, and was the one who introduced Chanyeol to the underground rock scene. In Chanyeol’s eyes, Yixing had rock n’ roll in his blood.

Yixing was lazing on his grungy couch while Chanyeol was on the floor in front of him. Chanyeol really didn't understand why Yixing didn’t upgrade all his stuff after all the money they’ve been making.

Yixing chuckled. “Yeollie...I told you before to reel it in a bit. Look what you did now?”

Chanyeol gave Yixing a kicked puppy look. Chanyeol often couldn’t tell if Yixing spoke slowly because he was always high, or there was still a language barrier after so many years.

“I still don’t understand, reel _what_ in?” Chanyeol inquired.

“You’ve changed a lot, _dongsaeng_. When did you start putting what the fangirls think about you above what Baekhyun thinks of you?” Chanyeol was flabbergasted.

“Wh-what? When did I ever do that?” Chanyeol asked incredulously.

“Hmm... you’ve been weird recently. Your music isn’t sounding the same, it’s...lifeless. You’ve been wearing _eyeliner_. Your jeans are officially too skinny for you Chanyeol, isn’t your dick suffering?” Yixing rattled off. Chanyeol’s jaw dropped.

“What’s wrong with keeping my image up? Also, my dick isn’t suffering.” Chanyeol scoffed and Yixing just shrugged.

“You’ve been hanging out with some weird people lately, Chanyeol. When was the last time you wrote a song sober?” Yixing asked. Chanyeol paused, and Yixing knew he hit the nail on the head. “When was the last time you wrote a song with Baekhyun?”

Truth is, Chanyeol hadn’t written a song with Baekhyun in ages. But it’s not like his musical talent relied on Baekhyun. He was someone before they got together, too. 

“What does Baekhyun have to do with my music? I am my own person, I can make music by myself.” He said incredulously.

“See? This is why the group has been rejecting all your newest songs. They’re about getting _high_ , _drinking_ , having _sex_ … where is the originality? The substance?” Yixing ranted. “Is that what you think rock is about? What happened to your roots? You think _Pink Floyd_ wrote about partying till the sundown?” Yixing’s voice settled into a drawl. “What you have with Baekhyun is--or was--real. Writing about your feelings, your experiences, is what got us this far. You’ve been so obsessed with yourself, that your passion for music…your passion for Baekhyun...it’s been fading for a while now, Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol pursed his lips. At Chanyeol’s silence, Yixing continued. “Growth is good. Abandoning your roots--that’s different. You’ve lost your authenticity.” he jabbed.

“I love Baekhyun, okay? I do. But he’s everywhere in my music. I have my own identity too--just because I’ve been consulting him less doesn’t make my music any worse. That’s not the reason I’m here--not the reason we broke up.” Chanyeol was standing now, head in his hands, on the verge of breaking.

“That’s where you’re wrong. You and Baekhyun are one entity. Each other’s muse. He balances you out, and you are each other's strengths. You abandoned him.! Admit it. You _wanted_ to break up with him, because you feel inadequate. That’s why you’re changing so much. Now that you’ve figured out that you’re nothing without him, you’re whining like a little bitch!” Yixing finally lost his cool at Chanyeol’s stupidity, standing up from the couch too. “None of the other members the group are obsessed with their image or are trying to become something they’re not, so why are you? Just accept his help!”

Chanyeol raised his fist and there was a sound of knuckles meeting bone: an equally as loud _fuck!_ before he ran out of the apartment, not ready to face the truth.

\--

Yixing was wrong. Chanyeol was sure of it. Chanyeol was back at his apartment, pounding away at his drum kit. At the rate he was going, he was sure it would end up broken. 

He played through all of his newer pieces, each one coming up short of his expectations. _No no no no no._

Each one was worse than the other, melodies not fitting, sounds not coming together, it all sounded like the mediocre clanging of a two year old on a plastic drum kit. _Fuck!_

Yixing couldn’t be right. There had to be a piece, a piece since he had stopped considering Baekhyun’s opinion. A piece he did alone. A piece for himself, not for the band.

Chanyeol fell on the floor, panting. He was nothing without his muse. His passion was Baekhyun--if he ever thought separating himself would bring out something new, he was wrong. Baekhyun and Chanyeol were one, bringing out the best and worst in each other. He needed to get him back. 

\--

Chanyeol opened his wallet and all of his coins fell to the floor. _Fuck fuck fuck fuck._

He was stumbling and struggling to pick them all up. He was seeing double and there were probably only twelve coins on the floor, but it was looking more like fifty. He picked up as many as he could and started hurtling them at the window. They were all missing by a mile.  

“Baekhyun! Fuck, Baek! Open your damn window!” Chanyeol was shouting and throwing a tantrum from the street, people were turning their heads towards them but he couldn’t care less.

Eventually, Baekhyun opened the window, face blank.

“B-Baekhyun…I’m so sorry...I did this to us…” Chanyeol was outright sobbing under Baekhyun’s window, but Baekhyun remained stoic. 

“I know I could give you a b-better apology for everything I did--I pushed you away, I humiliated you, I gave up on _us_. But I’m just… I’m so tired and drunk and stupid and I love you… I don’t know what else to _do_ now _._ ” 

There was a flash of emotion on Baekhyun’s face before he turned away. 

“No! Baekhyun please, no. Please...please take me back. I love you so much. You know I’ve never been good with words. You're always the one to come up with the words to say. To make it better. I’m nothing without you! I realize that now--my music’s not the same, heck, I’m not the same! God, please...” 

He fell to his knees as Baekhyun’s window shut once again.


	3. But I'm turnt up off sizz' and "I love you" Is the only thing that's in my mind

**Acceptance.**

“You’re such a fucking idiot. There’s a video of you all over the news screaming your stupid drunk love confession to me from the street. You couldn’t knock on my door like a normal person?” Baekhyun snorted. They were lying on the couch, Chanyeol lying on top of Baekhyun.

Chanyeol groaned. “God… I was so drunk… all I knew was I had to go to you and tell you how much of an idiot I am.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “That’s not new information, Yeol.” Chanyeol pinched Baekhyun’s stomach.

_“Ya!”_  

Chanyeol reached over and kissed Baekhyun on the cheek. “I’m an idiot for you.” 

“Oh fuck off.” Baekhyun pushed Chanyeol’s head mockingly with a big smile on his face. 

Suddenly, Chanyeol’s face was became serious again. “But seriously, if I ever push you away again, you have to tell me. Hit me in the face if you have to, I swear to god…” Chanyeol hid his face in Baekhyun’s chest. There was a moment of silence before Baekhyun started again.

“Speaking of punching people in the face, did you ever apologize to Yixing?” Baekhyun asked as he ran his fingers through Chanyeol’s hair.

“Oh shit.”

Baekhyun burst out laughing. “You pissed off the rock king of China? You’re so dead Chanyeol! I can’t believe you’re gonna die right after we got back together!” Chanyeol looked so miffed, hitting Baekhyun in the chest. 

“You’re not going to actually let him kill me are you?”

“I don’t know…” Baekhyun looked at his nails, contemplating. “I mean… you kind of deserve it…” 

“BYUN BAEKHYUN!”

\--

“So you and Baek _hyung_ are back together?” Sehun had the biggest smile on his face at the information. Chanyeol smiled and held on to Baekhyun’s hand tightly. The band and Kyungsoo were back at _Teddy’s_ to celebrate the couple getting back together. 

“Yeah...yeah we are.” Chanyeol smiled triumphantly. Everyone’s expression matched Sehun’s except Jongdae’s.

“You’re both fucking idiots.” Jongdae grumbled as he took a sip of his drink. Baekhyun smiled fondly and went to Jongdae’s side. 

“Dae~ we talked about this. Chanyeol turned himself around, I swear on it!” Baekhyun pouted and hugged his friend from behind.

“You better have, Chanyeol, or I’m going to beat your ass and it’ll be the end of EXO for real this time.” Jongdae scoffed. 

“I’m with Jongdae with this one. I had to cancel a whole concert because of you two, so you both better get it together…” Kyungsoo piped up from beside Sehun.

“Yeah, I didn’t sacrifice three weeks in a jaw cast for you two to break up again.” Yixing commented in a passive aggressive tone. “I can’t believe our band circles around this stupid couple. It’s like even though _they_ broke up _we_ were the ones who had to go through all the pain.” Chanyeol just stuck his tongue out at Yixing.

  
“Nah, we’re gonna stay together.” Chanyeol stuck his hand in the pocket of his (now looser) jeans and fingered the velvet box that was inside it. “for a very, _very_ long time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god. I never want to look at this fic again LMAO. I feel like I kind of lost it at the end but I hope it's still satisfying. Whatever. 
> 
> hyung = older male/close friend  
> dongsaeng = younger sibling/close friend  
> sunbae = upperclassmen
> 
> song lyrics from Rihanna's "higher" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_dGr_WI-4Y
> 
> & title of the fic randomly comes from "one last time" by ariana grande because i didnt want to reuse higher like 1000 times lmao
> 
> ALSO I LOVE HOW I ALWAYS MAKE EVERYTHING CHANYEOLS FAULT IN ALL MY FICS WOW IM ABOUT TO FIGHT MYSELF,


End file.
